


lay your heart into my perfect machine

by inquisitor_tohru



Series: The Dashing Gunslinger and the Walking Moustache [4]
Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Backstory, Coffee, Established Relationship, Fast Food, Groundbreaker (The Outer Worlds), Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Pillow Talk, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28177980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inquisitor_tohru/pseuds/inquisitor_tohru
Summary: "Have you always been a pilot?""Have you always been a bootlicking Board bureaucrat?"Or: pillow talk, coffee, and spratwurst.
Relationships: ADA & The Original Alex Hawthorne, Gladys Culkelly & The Original Alex Hawthorne, Udom Bedford/The Original Alex Hawthorne
Series: The Dashing Gunslinger and the Walking Moustache [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070972
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

"Have you always been a pilot?" Alex's gaze drifted away from the curved windows and the comforting vastness of the space beyond  _ Groundbreaker, _ and back to Udom, naked save for a threadbare blanket and starlight, filtered through the tempered glass.

"Have you always been a bootlicking Board bureaucrat?" he smirked, propping himself up with one elbow.

"You're an absolute terror." Had he not been looking, Alex would still have known Udom was smiling, just from his tone. "I appreciate the alliteration, though. Believe it or not, I used to be...well, a writer, I suppose. Company slogans, and the like. A few advertisements here and there."

"Please tell me you didn't come up with the Spacer's Choice jingle." Obviously, he was just teasing - that Law-forsaken jingle had been around since  _ he  _ was a kid, and he was pretty sure he had a couple of years on Udom. "I can believe it, though. You're a real eloquent fellow."

"Flatterer."

"So, what  _ did  _ you write? Or did you sign a contract swearing you to secrecy?"

"Oh, it's silly, really. Nothing as terribly exciting as you're imagining, I'm quite sure. A few lines ended up in promotional material for  _ Terror on Monarch,  _ but I'm afraid that's my only real claim to fame." Was that the one with Halcyon Helen? Alex wasn't a huge serial fan, but he'd have to ask ADA to look it up for him later. See if he could spot Udom's fingerprints on the film, as it were.

"Huh. Okay then. I haven't always been a pilot." It was bizarrely flattering that Udom had actually  _ asked _ him about his employment history, when he could simply have retrieved the records himself. "I started out as a flight mechanic with Spacer's Choice, working in the docks, but once you get a feel for a ship...well, you know." This was no good, getting all sentimental thinking about the first time he laid eyes on the  _ Unreliable.  _ He busied himself with his fingers instead, hands slipping under the covers and skimming over Udom's hip. 

"It all sounds exceedingly romantic to me," Udom murmured, a hint of wistfulness in his tone. 

"That's me," Alex said, draping an arm over Udom to reach for a cigarette, "romantic as shit. Anyway, d'you want a coffee? Sad to say, but I've only got Spacer's Choice creamer." Technically, it was a creamer  _ substitute  _ that Phineas Welles had given him a fuck-ton of...and after trying it for himself, he was convinced the old greyhair had just wanted rid of the stuff.

"That's quite alright, I take mine black." Alex was pretty sure that was a lie, and that he'd seen Udom drink coffee with cream before, but his politeness teetered towards maddening. He supposed his job kind of required it, at least up to a point. Then again, he'd met plenty of Board bureaucrats that wouldn't know good manners if you stuck them on the end of a tossball stick and gave them a good whack.

Not that Alex had ever thought about doing that, mind you.

He clambered over Udom, and swore as he scrambled to his feet to discover his left leg had gone uncomfortably numb, which was frankly ridiculous, since he couldn't have been lying in the same position longer than ten minutes. Okay, maybe half an hour or so - Udom  _ really _ liked to cuddle, and Alex didn't completely hate it. 

"Great," he said, wincing as he stretched his legs, "I'll be back in a jiffy." He didn't bother getting dressed. One of the perks of being a one man operation was that he was free to wander around his ship naked when he felt like it. He didn't exactly make a habit of it, but he also didn't see the point in dressing himself just to raid the fridge in the middle of the night. 

As he was making the coffee, he realised he'd forgotten to ask if Udom took sugar, and resorted to tucking a box of sugar under his arm while carrying a drink in each hand, praying he didn't miss a step on the way down to his quarters and end up splashing hot coffee over his dick. Maybe getting dressed wouldn't have been such a stupid idea after all. ADA would probably refer to this as an example of his 'reckless behaviour' in a tone that was cool, yet concerned, and overall betrayed more in the way of emotion than she seemed to realise. 

ADA, it turned out, could be pretty fucking relatable.

Alex almost made it back to his quarters before spilling coffee over his thumb, trying to make his grimace look more like a grin as he walked back to his bunk. ADA had apparently seen fit to turn on the lamps over by his desk, bathing the room in a soft, warm light that he could only hope was as complementary to his own features as it was to Udom's smooth, freckled skin, his cheeks still rosy from their earlier exertions. He handed Udom a cup first, before setting down the box of sugar. 

"I forgot to ask," he explained, when Udom's eyebrow quirked in mild amusement, "as you've no doubt discerned, I don't exactly entertain much. You're actually the first person I..." He trailed off there, not really wanting to dig himself any deeper in that hole, for fear of being buried alive beneath the crushing weight of his own hangups.

"Thank you, and not to worry - I am honored to have such a gracious host." A lot of the stuff that came out of Udom's mouth would have sounded like bullshit if he wasn't so bloody earnest. "Wait, does this have whiskey in it?"

"Ah, shit, sorry. That one's mine." It really was no wonder that he'd scored so horrifically in the hospitality section of his career aptitude test, and it looked like his chances of getting into the service industry hadn't improved in the years since then if he couldn't even get  _ this  _ right. Luckily, Udom was far more forgiving than the average drinker or diner, or maybe it was just that Alex was phenomenal in bed (Udom's word, not his). Either worked for him, really.

As he shuffled back into his bunk and beneath the blanket, the harsh taste of the whiskey caught in the back of his throat, and Alex made a mental note to ask Udom out for dinner sometime before he left the _Groundbreaker._


	2. Chapter 2

"He's quite infatuated by you, you know." Alex sighed. He didn't mind dealing with Gladys, but she could be so fucking nosy. Normal for someone in her line of work, he supposed. At least he'd have a pocketful of Purpleberry Crunches to show for his trouble.

"You don't say. And how much did that juicy little tidbit cost you?" Gladys just smiled that sly smile of hers as she peered over her glasses.

"Not a thing, dearie. I have a working pair of eyes, and not everything's about _bits,_ now, is it?" He swallowed, knowing exactly what she was likely to be inferring from his silence, but unwilling to make any further comment on the matter. She wasn't exactly wrong, anyway. 

"On that note..." He reached into his satchel and handed over what he owed her for the bust-up datapad. "Pleasure doing business with you, as usual."

"And you. Take care of yourself." Sure enough, she reached into that oversized tin of hers to offer him candy.  _ Literally sweetening the deal, _ Alex thought with a grin, as he did every time he stopped by her office in the Rest-N-Go.

He stopped by the spratwurst stall on his way to the embassy. It wasn't quite the dinner date he'd had in mind but, for some reason, Udom had been ecstatic about eating spratwurst together. Actually,  _ ecstatic  _ was kind of an understatement, but Udom's message had made him laugh after a tiring afternoon of hauling cargo on Scylla.

"Uh-huh. A grinder's dozen of terra-fried spratwurst with all the dipping mustards. How's the ranch?" Alex would barely have noticed the change in Ethel's expression, had it not tugged and twisted the scar on her right cheek.

"Captain shut it down." Hardly a surprise, really. The last thing the Rest-N-Go needed was  _ more  _ sprats (and the little buggers bred like nobody's business), but he had to admire the gal's determination. "Is that all?"

"Yeah, thanks." He handed over the bits in exchange for the box, apparently containing no fewer than  _ fifteen _ dipping mustards. Law, Udom hadn't been kidding. 

He made his way across the promenade past a couple of stevedores taking a smoke break, towards the embassy building, the one glittering jewel in this decrepit junk pile. Or so Udom liked to say, anyway, but Alex reckoned he liked the  _ Groundbreaker  _ a little more than he'd admit to. He smirked as he walked through the door, sure that he'd seen one of the corporate troopers' shoulders sag as he'd entered.

"I've got a bone to pick with the dashing liaison who impounded my ship.  _ Again."  _ This time one of the troopers audibly groaned, then tried to hide it by clearing their throat. He tried not to laugh as he pictured them rolling their eyes behind their helmet, too. "I also brought dinner." Udom positively  _ beamed  _ when he set the takeout box on his desk, as far from the terminal as he could manage.

"Ah, the fruit of the noble space rat - you remembered!"

"It'd be...pretty hard to forget." Alex certainly couldn't imagine anyone else he knew describing spratwurst as 'a mouthful of gristle and autumn leaves', but he kind of liked that about Udom. "Got all the dipping mustards, too." 

"Marvellous. I fear I find myself in your debt once again, dear Alex."

"Oh, I'm sure we can call it quits if you release my  _ beautiful barge." _ (That reminded him - he was  _ absolutely _ bringing that up next time he found himself in Lilya's office and she referred to the  _ Unreliable  _ as 'that leaky ship of his'.)

"Done," Udom said, his fingers sweeping over the keys in a practised motion. Alex supposed it  _ was  _ practised by now, since he'd lost count of how many times he'd found himself in Udom's garish, golden office. Enough times that he wasn't intimidated by the armed guards, at any rate. 

"Much appreciated." Their hands brushed as they both went for the box of spratwurst, and Alex grinned, stroking the back of Udom's hand with his thumb. "Don't worry, I'll take these while you finish up with..." He gestured towards the terminal and the neat stack of paperwork on Udom's desk.

"Thank you." Udom reached into his pocket to pull out the elevator keycard. Once upon a time that might have made the corporate troopers lined up against the back wall a bit twitchy, but nowadays they didn't even bat an eyelid (or at least he doubted they did). "I'll be with you in two ticks." 

"Sure thing." 

He'd never been up to Udom's apartment before, and walked out of the elevator to discover what appeared to be a dull, beige void that didn't fit Udom's character at all. It was entirely unsurprising that the Board's budget had been blown on the embassy's flashy exterior and the glittering office floor, with the liaison's accommodation as an afterthought, and an unfortunate necessity. The only trace of Udom in the room could be found on the bedside table - a framed photograph of the two of them during one of the first few nights they'd spent working their way through the  _ Lost Hope's  _ stocks of Spectrum Vodka. Udom hugging him, him wincing.

"I look like a dumbass in that picture," he said when the elevator doors opened. It came out more whiny than he'd have liked, and Udom just laughed.

"Well, _ I _ like it, and it's the only one I have of you." Alex didn't bring up the fact that he kept his own copy of the photo in the inside pocket of his overcoat for the very same reason. It was just horribly sentimental. "At least, barring that wanted poster from a few years back - but I can't exactly frame that now, can I?"

"Hey, at least I wasn't halfway between sloshed and hungover in that one." He slid his arms around Udom, nuzzling at his neck. "Now eat your spratwurst before it gets cold, and I'll make us some coffee." At least this time he was fully dressed. For now, anyway.

"No, that's quite alright. You bought me  _ dinner, _ Alex," Udom said, making it sound a far grander gesture than it actually was, "the least I can do is make coffee while you make yourself at home." He nodded. It wasn't much of a home, but he appreciated the sentiment all the same. At least the spratwurst tasted (and smelled) like being back on the  _ Groundbreaker. _

"I finally found something we have in common." Udom chuckled softly, clattering about his sorry excuse for a kitchen, opening and closing the cupboard doors and drawers. "I...don't entertain much either. Not like this, anyway."

"You don't say. Look, it's fine. Really. I'm not expecting Byzantium gourmet-level shit." He sat down in the cheap taupe armchair, and resisted the urge to immediately stand up again - if Spacer's Choice manufactured chairs, they'd be on par with this. On the bright side, he wouldn't have to feel  _ too  _ bad about any potential mustard stains.

"Here we are." The plain white cup Udom handed him looked as if it had never been used before, like just about everything else in the apartment. When Alex took a sip he almost felt as if he were reliving the moment of wincing nausea immortalized in the photograph, because this had to be the worst fucking coffee in the history of Halcyon. He swallowed, which somehow made it even worse, and wished his hip flask wasn't empty. Whisky would have  _ softened  _ that aftertaste.

"Is it...not to your liking? If you'd prefer it with a creamer, then-" Alex shook his head. There was no way any creamer could save this, not even Auntie Cleo's was  _ that  _ good. "I daresay you can see why I order coffee in, or else opt for caffeinoids." Alex handed Udom the box of spratwurst again. This was getting to be like one of those old games of pass the parcel that he'd heard about.

"How about you come back to the kitchen with me, enjoy some of that noble space rat, and I'll show you how to make a decent cup of coffee?" 

"That sounds delightful."

Delightful would rather depend on what brand of coffee Udom had in, but Alex had always been good at working with what he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the messages about "the noble space rat" between Udom and Alex that can be found on Udom's terminal.


End file.
